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Journal of Private Flannery, GFP-1392504

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1 Journal of Private Flannery, GFP-1392504 on Thu Jul 07, 2016 1:47 am

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2 Entry_01 on Thu Jul 07, 2016 2:36 am

BEGIN LOG
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I just arrived in Tumbleweed and thing's could be better, but they could be worse.

Before I even came to town, I had to duck a sandstorm by going in a cave. Couldn't have chosen a more worse spot, I counted 3 radscopians inside. I couldn't confirm their positions until I had to use my pip buck light and saw them right up in my face. Damn things almost drove their stingers in my head. I managed to evade them by hovering above, but one of their stingers caught my equipment straps. I had to detach it to get away, but now I've lost my gear. Sandstorm cleared at 0900 hours and I later arrived in town at 1100 hours.

Equipment or no, the operation was still a go. Asking around town, I located and confirmed one Pony of Interest, Finely. Questioned him about the tower incident before an AI, er, friend of his entered. Questioning him revealed he was also part of the POIs' mission in Detrot. Also had information on White Butterfly. Will have to look further into this.

Once I had gotten the information from them, I started to search the nearby ruins of Rockbottom for supplies as it seems the town's merchants come only at certain intervals. Results of my search was... a stick. It was better than nothing. My scavenging continued until 1400 hours before I returned to Tumbleweed.

I located 3 more POIs in the town bar: Blast Path, a ghoul named Luckless, and a mare I have not confirmed the name of yet. [Damn, even with those injuries, she looked amazing.] Info gathering proved fruitful, will be adding to the entry's report. Was caught in a brief, heated argument between the POIs and an unknown third party. Form what I could tell, they attacked them in Rockbottom and were not welcomed. Could be a problem for the town, especially if this "master" of the third party's has plans for it. Will have to observe along POIs.

Confirmed sight of a sixth POI but could not get the chance to speak with him. Will correct that later. Investigation paused at 1900 hours for sleep.

Investigation Report 1:
--Confirmed POIs utilized Tower to resurrect friend.
--White Butterfly made it out. Whereabouts unknown.
--POIs either know each other or were conscripted to come along
--POIs died in Tower. [Deadmare? Will need to investigate further.]
--POI Derp does exist. [How the hell did HE make it out??? Moron looks like he couldn't shoot his way out of wet tissue paper.]

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END LOG

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3 Entry_02 on Fri Jul 08, 2016 8:46 pm

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Woke up at 0900 hours. Leg was sore, damn couch. Discovered another POI, Cinnamon Text, though he looked like a kirin instead of peagsus. Questioned him about Detrot and got much the same as the others gave me. He did mention White Butterfly going by the name DR now. Whereabouts still unknown. Text also gave me some weapons. Nice guy. Makes sense that he's protective of others.

Met with Blast Path again and he was able to see past my ruse. I guess it was a good thing, the truth was going to come out eventually. Tried to get more info from him, then we got distracted by a talking book. A fucking talking book with magic. It really was too much to hope that stuff like that was only in Detrot. Possession, poltergeists, soul entrapment, just more crap that gives me a headache. Why can't things just either stay dead or stay in their own bodies?

At least this one didn't seem like a threat, but in all honesty I wasn't paying much attention to what it was saying. Didn't trust it and I didn't bother staying to listen. I went to the bar to continue my conversation with Blast Path. After being honest with him, he told everthing he could remember about the tale. He was right, I needed the whisky threw my way. At least I got most of what I needed before the truth came out. Now to keep on eye on them.

More ponies entered the bar later, and one of them was this beautiful griffon. Tried to hit it off with her but of course I failed at that. Instead I ended up getting drunk and watching her brawl with Blast. I think they're friends. I tried to help do... something. I can't remember. Damn booze. I ended up sleeping on the street before dragging my way back to the couch.

Sleep.

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END LOG

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4 Entry_03 on Wed Jul 27, 2016 8:18 pm

BEGIN LOG
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It's been awhile since my last entry. A lot has happened and I couldn't find much time to update. I'll post the note worthy events at least.

Firstly, I believe there's a changeling hive, or at least one that' forming, somewhere in the area. I don't know much but from what I can gather, they're having some issues with locating suitable place. Something about reclaiming a factory from mutants and needing some help. It's not relevant to my mission here, but it might be good idea to keep informed. Either way, I doubt they'd be asking me for help, I didn't exactly make a good impression with "The Prince," and his sister.

Deadringer actually showed. I was shocked not by his appearance, but just how nonchalant and sarcastic he was. The stories about his personality was true then, the over-glorified bastard even threw me an insult and offered for me to become his sidekick. Like hell I would be. Legendary hero or not, he still fits in the middle of the deadmare and NecroNet problem. I should have gotten some info out of him, but... other matters got my attention.

...

That's a lie. I was being an idiot again. I talked to Patch about feeling towards her, and the short of it she's not interested in romance. She's not above having a "private" session, but doesn't want any of the fluff with it. Hell, she even made me fight her to prove I could bed her, and I won after flailing like a moron trying to land a hit and only because she gave me an advantage. Besides that, I she's already taken, or something like that. I'm not entirely sure, there another griffon named Fayne and they have some relationship, but I'm not entirely sure just how intimate it is.

I don't know. I guess that's what I get for trying hook up with someone in the middle of an assignment. What I deserve for thinking I can just waltz into someone else's life while I'm still trying to pick up the pieces of mine. Like I could ever build healthy relationships again.

There's more, but I'm tired. I'll just write down later. Don't why I'll even bother, I guess it just helps put things in perspective.

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END LOG

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5 Entry_04 on Thu Jul 28, 2016 2:26 am

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I've had a talk with [REDACTED] that helped me out a lot. I broke down right in front of him, telling him about my time in the mall, about my Sweet. I don't know why I kept going after the first few sentences, I just... I needed to tell it. I needed for it to come back out, but for the longest time I kept it buried, hidden deep inside because more than anything, I didn't want to remember it.

But after talking about it with him, I felt better about it. It was weird, I told this story before to the others back home, but this time it felt good to let it out. Maybe because I kept myself from crying in front of them, or maybe because the advice some gave me was to suck it up and do my job.

But this time was different. This time it felt like it mattered that I told it so someone, and that he gave me solace afterward. Jeez, thinking back on it now it sounds like I'm a foal who just needed a hug. It's embarrassing but I can't deny that it actually made me feel better.

I still got somethings on my mind, still got a lot of mistakes to make up for. But this little talk, it felt like a step in the right direction. 'Til then, it's just good to know I got friends out here to pick me when I fall.

Ugh, I'm rambling again. I'm heading back to the couch.

P.S. I know you're still looking at my pipbuck remotely you sly bastard, but I just wanted you to know that I redacted your name the minute I realized I wrote it down. Still keeping that promise. ;)

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END LOG

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6 Final_Entry on Sun Sep 18, 2016 1:07 am

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I didn't know what was going to happen when I finally talked to Deadringer. I wanted him to tell me what happened in the Tower exactly. I wanted him to give me that answer I was searching for, a way to end the Deadmares once for all. Hell, I almost wanted him to give me a reason to attack him. I just wanted something that would give me some closure.

But in talking with him, he gave me something else. It wasn't the big pot of gold at the end of the rainbow I was blindly racing for. No, what he gave me was something that I now realize was what I wanted, but just couldn't bring myself to admit it. Perspective. I wanted so badly to believe that there was an answer to every problem I had, and that coming out here would shed some light on it. It shed some light alright, but not on the answer I wanted. There wasn't any grand revelation, divine intervention, or whatever other bullshit I was foolishly hoping for. No, Deadringer only gave me the truth.

The Deadmare aren't going away, if they do we're probably going with them. There's no magic button or word that can eradicate them, they just are and we're the ones that have to live with them. I've always had this fear that we would be consumed by them, by NecroNet, and the whole world would have really ended. But even now as I realize that they're going to be around for longer than I can live, I keep thinking back to something he said. "They were supposed to protect ponies." I wanted to punch him, drag him to the ground and pummel him in, even if it did end with up with me getting killed. But I didn't. I didn't because he made his point and the fact of the matter is I can't argue with it.

The Deadmare, they'll always be around. But taking out the ones that are an immediate danger, that's still progress. That still gives some hope, shouldn't it? That eventually we won't have to fear them anymore. What am I saying, I'm the one who fears them. I'm the one who can't stand looking at them for too long. I'm the one that wants them all gone and I'm the one that came here because I just wanted so badly to do something right. But this whole time... I guess the wrong thing was the one I was trying to do right.

That ends today. No more chasing dreams, no more hoping for a holy answer. The fact of the matter is the Deadmare... the bad ones still exist, and even after everything they cost me, I'm still alive. I'm still trying, and I'm not going to stop until I'm lying dead. I'll survive and hopefully do something to make things better... no, peaceful back home. The least I can do is still keep the populace safe.

I'm done chasing my lies. From now on I'll let those better than me chase answers to big questions. I already got my answers, and the brass will have to live with the ones I give them. Until then, I still have a gem tag around my neck and a home where I have a duty to fulfill.

Coming out here open my eyes, and the ponies here in town... I can't thank them enough. Especially you. You know who you are, I can't think of anypony else who has access to this. So if you are reading this, and I hope you are, just letting you know I might be gone before we can get a chance to say goodbye in person. If that's the case, all I can say is thank you, for being there when I was at my lows and my highs, and for helping me realize I still have a chance.

Thank you. Tell the others that too if you can.

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END LOG

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